Going to the exchange exhibition this afternoon made my fear more evident - the absence of my courage.
It doesn't totally disappear, but I know it lower under some degree that I don't want to admit and want to make some difference, just like my figure.
I got used to think in Chinese way, not a ALC or American way, a sunshine way.
I am really afraid of letting it go.
Recalling the days when I just came back from ALC, I don't want to eat anything not-American and always operated my brain in English.
My brain was full of ALC at that time.
Now, ALC is still in my mind, but I am somehow coward to think about it all the time.
Coming back to my Taiwanese life or maybe practical life forced me to face the music, face the end of the dream.
However, I still want to keep my dream by all means.
That's why I am finding the way back into American life or my open life by all means.
Washington, studying abroad and the big plan next summer.
In the first oral training class, I could go on stage and speak out my thoughts fluently without preparation, just like what I did in San Frans hotel.
The reason may be that I was describing something I experienced in American way, in English in other words.
Now, that me is destroyed by Taiwanese culture and the life in Taiwanese things.
Somehow, I dislike where I am now.
I blame it for depriving me of the best part of mine.
I try to do as much as I can in order to bring that part of mine to life, but I feel hopeless.
In the comic Conan, Haibara Ai said that we can never fight against the stream of time.
But I still want to try, at least I should.
Wen, I found that I rely on you more than I did in ALC.
I hope you don't mind.
I know it is a matter of time, I will find myself back.
Really looking forward to the winter vacation.
By the way, it's really interesting that single friends of mine are murmuring about wanting to have a love simultaneously.
Maybe it's the magic of autumn and winter.
I am not an exception.
I am a sag, after all.
Love happens everywhere, I hope it's approaching.
It doesn't totally disappear, but I know it lower under some degree that I don't want to admit and want to make some difference, just like my figure.
I got used to think in Chinese way, not a ALC or American way, a sunshine way.
I am really afraid of letting it go.
Recalling the days when I just came back from ALC, I don't want to eat anything not-American and always operated my brain in English.
My brain was full of ALC at that time.
Now, ALC is still in my mind, but I am somehow coward to think about it all the time.
Coming back to my Taiwanese life or maybe practical life forced me to face the music, face the end of the dream.
However, I still want to keep my dream by all means.
That's why I am finding the way back into American life or my open life by all means.
Washington, studying abroad and the big plan next summer.
In the first oral training class, I could go on stage and speak out my thoughts fluently without preparation, just like what I did in San Frans hotel.
The reason may be that I was describing something I experienced in American way, in English in other words.
Now, that me is destroyed by Taiwanese culture and the life in Taiwanese things.
Somehow, I dislike where I am now.
I blame it for depriving me of the best part of mine.
I try to do as much as I can in order to bring that part of mine to life, but I feel hopeless.
In the comic Conan, Haibara Ai said that we can never fight against the stream of time.
But I still want to try, at least I should.
Wen, I found that I rely on you more than I did in ALC.
I hope you don't mind.
I know it is a matter of time, I will find myself back.
Really looking forward to the winter vacation.
By the way, it's really interesting that single friends of mine are murmuring about wanting to have a love simultaneously.
Maybe it's the magic of autumn and winter.
I am not an exception.
I am a sag, after all.
Love happens everywhere, I hope it's approaching.
